Chicken Math

Chicken Math. Yes, Chicken Math.

You don't know what Chicken Math is? Never heard of it? Then you have never had chickens.

Here's the deal ... when it comes to chickens, you will never have enough. Plain and simple. For starters, you can't ever have just one. Chickens are social creatures and do not survive in lonely circumstances. That means two would be the bare minimum.

See what I mean? Your plans have already had to DOUBLE, right? What was ONE chicken, immediately turns into TWO.

Then comes the fact there are something like 400 breeds. 400 very beautiful breeds. Just when you think you have ordered the most beautiful breed of chicken known to mankind, you will be doing research and run across yet, again, ANOTHER beautiful breed ... and the foremost breeder of that beautiful breed lives just 2 hours from you. And has chicks available NOW.

What could it hurt, right? So, you are up to 3 chickens.

Then you realize that your coop plans are for a 4 x 6 square foot space. And chickens need between 2-4 square feet of coop space. (More on this in another post before you start yelling at me. Yes, 4 is better than 2. We'll chat about this later, like I said.) You mentally do the math and discover you could easily fit 6-12 chickens in that space.

Oh, the possiblities. Your head is spinning. Hmmm ... you spend several days going over this possible scenario. Should you or shouldn't you? Your logic tells you that having 6 chickens would be so much more logical, than having 12 chickens. Suddenly you have no memory of 1 chicken or 2 chickens or 3 chickens. You simply know that you have space for 12 chickens, so 6 is a very sensible thing to do. Even logical.

And so it begins. 1+1=12.

Here is how it went with my Chicken Math Story ...

• November - Made a mental note to talk to hubbie about raising chickens in the city.
• November - We agreed 3 would be a good number.
• November - We agreed springtime would be a nice time to order chicks, giving us time to build a coop.
• November - Did a ton of research and determined that baby chicks are very fragile and I would most certainly kill several by accident within the first week. I should probably order 5 chicks for the springtime, just to make sure we have the required 3.
• December - Ordered 7 chicks for December pick-up at the hatchery. (Note to self: December is NOT considered Springtime in my part of the world and 7 is a larger number than 5.)
• December - Picked up 7 chicks.
• January - No chicks have died yet. No chicks even APPEAR to be sickly. In fact, they ALL are healthy. (Note to self: baby chicks are NOT fragile.)
• December/January - Start building coop in the garage. My beloved Lexus sits out in the driveway in the ice and snow while we build the coop. Still no dead chickens.
• February - Research has led me to believe I can't live without Bantam chickens. I order 7 from an online hatchery for June delivery.
• February - Move coop to backyard with the help of 8 grown people. This sucker is HEAVY.
• February - Move chicks to the outside coop at 8 weeks old. Still 7 of them hanging in there.
• February - Hmmm, that brooder looks really lonely sitting there all empty and everything.
• February - Went for a drive in the country one Saturday afternoon and came home with 3 French Black Copper Marans who were already laying at 6 months old. Put them in the brooder for some quaratine time, just in case they weren't as healthy as they appeared. Did I mention Marans lay chocolate-colored eggs?
• February - Decide that since Bantam chickens are only 25% - 50% the size of standard fowl, I should order more bantams. The total order is now 10.
• March - Starting to get antsy thinking about the Marans moving out to the Big Girls Coop.
• March - Order 2 chicks for April pick-up.
• March - Remind myself that 3 chickens are always better than 2 (see above).
• March - Add 1 more chicken to the April order.
• March - Notice a rare Blue Orpington is suddenly available for March pick-up from the hatchery.
• March - Cancel April order of 3 chickens and order 3 different chickens, including the Blue Orp for mid-March pick-up. PLUS the FREE Meyer Meal Maker chicken. This totals 4.
• March - Add a Rhode Island Red to the mid-March order, since they lay EXTRA large eggs rather prolificly, for a total of 5 chicks.
• March - Thinking I should cancel my June order of Bantams.
• March - I notice someone on a chicken forum who lives in my city just got 5 chicks from Tractor Supply and found out the entire family is allergic to them.
• March - I consider offering to take them in until we find them homes. I come to my senses and do NOT volunteer for Chicken Foster Mother duty. Instead, I go gather chocolate-colored eggs from my Marans and walk out to the Big Girls Coop and sprinkle some scratch grains at the original 7's feet.
• March - I am happy. (But ever-viligant, watching out for a Chicken Math relapse.)